Home away from home away from home

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I’m back from vacation (or holiday as I call it). There are some photos to look at at the end of this post, you’re welcome.

I’m actually still in an Uber on the way back from the airport. Normally we get the Blueline into Chicago but we have been travelling for 13 hours and I needed a break from people. Talk about life of a Prince!

I missed Chicago, I also missed Scotland, and Manchester, but mostly the people in all 3 places. We got to see my (mums side of the) family, my husbands family, our friends, and one show in the Edinburgh Fringe. All in 6 days. I’m shattered.

I wore my kilt- which finally fits again after a humiliating wedding where the wrap-around traditional wear didn’t quite wrap around due to my increased waist.

I’ve struggled with my weight over the course of 15 years- which I think I touched upon when talking about marathon training. If anyone wants to discuss my eating disorder/weight gain & loss mentality, message me on Instagram and we can have a chat. I’m totally open.

back to holiday (vacation).

i loved seeing Scotland again. I forgot how much green there was.

I also feel that living in America put me in a bubble as to what’s going on at home- and I really must challenge myself to read more, rather than follow along with tweets.

My family were happy to discuss the current political climate, with one talking about their travel plans for work meaning they arrive in mainland Europe on October 31st, the day the UK is meant to leave the EU. If Boris has anything to do with it, with no deal and a whole load of problems from that.

Ill be talking more about Brexit and my understanding of it again I am sure. Please be aware that I am not an “expert” on it, or politics, but I do live in this world, so my experiences are still valid. Even if they are naive.

America has opened my eyes to the obvious racism that exists in the world. My whiteness has shielded me from this for years (Privilege) so I didn’t get that the colour of your skin creates so many barriers. The closest I can get to understanding it on a personal level is because I’m gay and effeminate. Though the latter can be “acted out” if the scenario needs.

I actually found Manchester to be a very diverse place to walk around in, even in comparison to Chicago. Every race, colour, class, lifestyle can be found in and around Picadilly Gardens. Going to work, shopping, eating, travelling, hanging out with friends, family. I was happy to see everyone going on about their day. But that’s Manchester people, always busy like bees.

Recommended reading for this blog post:

Why I am No Longer Talking to white people about Race by Reni Eddo- Lodge.

Recommended podcasts:

The Friend Zone

The Read

The Stoop

I don’t want to speak for black lives, and want you to hear them directly.

Colin x

The future is… tomorrow?

Sitting at work on my break and I feel like I need to write down my goals for the future.

I have been asking myself for a while wether I want to continue baking, or baking AND filming, or just making videos without baking, or just focus on work and exercise.

My trouble is that I like to do EVERYTHING. I’m a finger in many pies kind of person. But then sometimes I end up with 20 pies being fingered and can’t pick up the cup of tea I made for myself.

Sometimes I feel like Tina holding a secret. Uuhhhh

Sometimes I feel like Tina holding a secret. Uuhhhh

My baking business is still in hiatus- every time I try to get it off the ground I freeze in fear and my brain shuts down and then I just. Don’t.

I want to sell some merchandise, just to help fund the ingredients for the videos- and try to make a more structured video, with a back catalogue that allows me to take my time with each video instead of throwing them up frantically because it’s a Sunday and I haven’t posted.

Which brings me to YouTube, I haven’t made a video for that in 6 months. I thought the break would give me time to make said back catalogue- but it didn’t. Somehow my TiKTok profile became popular and this has meant I have essentially moved platforms for my content.

The wonderful @stressinabox from TikTok and I

The wonderful @stressinabox from TikTok and I

I also have a 9 episode WebSeries that I have written… but need to film and edit. So that’s also a thing.

Still marathon training, and also working, and then heading back to the UK for 6 days in the beginning of August for a family reunion.

Things are good. I just need to take a breath, but also not miss out on my potential future goals. It’s a good problem to have, and I’m happy to have it.

Colin x

Time to bake, but WHEN?! And HOW!!??

Time to bake, but WHEN?! And HOW!!??